ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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