i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
