It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize