I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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