Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
farters have to be the big spoon...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
