Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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