Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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