Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize