Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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