we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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