if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
