i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
