i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We are all done wearing pants today
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
