the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
