You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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