i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
