My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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