if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
