You can't motorboat a personality
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize