I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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