I'm drive I can fine osifer
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize