i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my sisters under your porch take her home
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
