I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize