Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
