so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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