so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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