this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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