You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
