I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize