Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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