HIV tests are more positive than that guy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize