so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
