I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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