Will you blow on my dice?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
