He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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