u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
