We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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