somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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