WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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