grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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