That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize