You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
