is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
