I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
