This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
