Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
