I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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