Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
