This girl is more easily done than said...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
