Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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