OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
