My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
