it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
