I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
