I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We have started to decorate penises.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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