he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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