Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
how does that bad decision feel?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
