Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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