I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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