are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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