Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
