i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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