Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it was like eating out sand paper
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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