Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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